


Reverence (An Unexpected Gift)

by Shwtlee



Series: Canonverse Fics [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Angry Kylo Ren, Chandrila, Emperor Kylo Ren, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Visions, Heavy Angst, Nudity, POV Kylo Ren, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-War, Rey gets an eyeful, Winter Solstice, canonverse, shower scene
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-02-18 20:45:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13108206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shwtlee/pseuds/Shwtlee
Summary: Rey shut him out entirely. The connection was sealed until last night when he felt a rush of emotion from her end. It was so intense it almost opened up the connection. But then she reigned herself in and retreated back leaving him feeling empty again.





	1. A Unexpected Gift

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ReyloRobyn2011](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReyloRobyn2011/gifts).



> This is a Christmas gift for Robyn.
> 
> An idea I might turn into a long fic.

 

* * *

 

Supreme Leader of First Order was due to attend a celebration ceremony in Coruscant. It had been a week since the last of the Resistance was defeated and First Order had established total control over the galaxy. More and more systems were joining their government everyday and their power was spreading.

 

Kylo Ren vowed to bring order and stability in the galaxy. It was a hard won victory at the expense of countless lives and destruction of systems. He didn't take those consequences lightly.

 

In the end, the leader of the Resistance admitted her defeat and called for a truce. Last he heard of her, she went back to Chandrila to live out her remaining years. They requested the Order to not force the systems that weren't willing to join them. And against all the protests from this admirals and generals, the Supreme Leader decided to grant that request.

 

He knew his mother was right. It wouldn't be wise to apply force to rule. It would only create more resistance. And result in more uncalled for rebelion. And he wasn't looking forward to another uprising.

 

Especially now that he was expecting a mutiny from within the Order. He was wary of Hux. During the war he served his purpose. But Kylo had no doubt the red headed snake would stab him in his back the moment he got the opportunity.

 

The wiser move would have been to eliminate him. It wasn't difficult, but then he wouldn't be able to identify the other traitors. The moment Hux was gone his enemies would go into hiding and strike him covertly. A known enemy was always better.

 

Kylo sighed. He decided to not join the celebration. His video message was played to the assembly that he made from his office aboard the Ascendancy. Now he looked out of his view port at the planet called Chandrila. His birth planet.

 

The blue green planet looked lush and thriving. It was one of the very few core planets that preserved its natural beauty unlike the overpopulated commercial ones. Even though he never lived on the planet for long, Kylo Ren always felt a strange kinship with it.

 

It was the winter solstice and the planet like many others celebrated it with festivities. As Ben Solo, he had attended these festivals. One of his few fond memory of his otherwise terrible childhood.

 

It was ironic how he might find his peace on the planet that gave him life. He could feel her there. And was sure she could sense him too. She knew he came for her. If not in the force, the super star destroyer in the sky would give that up.

 

He recently felt the connection opening. She shut him down completely the last time he saw her. That was months ago. The day his life changed entirely.

 

When he killed Snoke. She fought beside him and for a moment Kylo Ren was whole. He was almost certain she would stand with him. He saw it in their future as clear as the planet before him, but she rejected him and abandoned him. Just like everyone else. But Kylo Ren knew he couldn't-- he couldn't just let her go or forget her.

 

Since then he'd been looking for her. Trying to sense her but so far he came up with nothing.

 

He'd seen her in his dreams, always calling him by _that_ name. But those were foolish dreams. They were oftentimes of an erotic nature. In reality, she'd never let him touch her like that. Kylo felt weak and ashamed that his mind would take him there, but it was the only link between them and the only way he could see her. Or maybe just a version of her. But whatever they were, they made him feel alive, even if just for a few moments.

 

Rey shut him out entirely. The connection was sealed until last night when he felt a rush of emotion from her end. It was so intense it almost opened up the connection. But then she reigned herself in and retreated back to herself.

 

It was enough for him to pinpoint a location. He wasn't surprised to find Rey where his mother was rumored to have retreated herself in.

 

He was so close to the two immensely powerful force beings he could feel their presence from the orbit; it was almost tangible which was a little unusual. He knew their presence, but it seemed somehow stronger. And the pull he felt towards Rey seemed to have strengthened.

 

It was like a strange new force that was pulling him towards her. And that made the tracking easier.

 

He suddenly felt panic across the bond. And next thing he knew he could see her. She was standing right In front of him. Her eyes were round and she looked like she was caught off guard. Kylo was sure his face mirrored the same expression.

 

Rey regained her composure and he could see her eyes hardening.

 

“Why are you here? You've got what you wanted. You won!”

 

But Kylo could feel there was something different about her. The aura around her was somehow brighter. And the Force seemed to be swirling around her, in a chaotic harmony. It was strange but beautiful. It was as if she was glowing.

 

“Something has changed. You are not alone,” Kylo observed.

 

“Of course I'm not alone. There are people around me,” Rey snapped back.

 

“No the force. It's somehow stronger. You don't feel alone,” Kylo pressed back. It was curious.

 

“You mother is with me,” Rey countered. She looked flustered.

 

“I know. I can feel her presence. But this isn't her. Who else is with you, Rey?”

 

“No one!” she squeaked. He could feel her panic through the bond. She was hiding something. She was also trying to close the connection but Kylo was stronger and he held on.

 

“You can't hide from me Rey. The Force connects us,” Kylo said, narrowing his eyes and observing her every movement now.

 

He felt more and more drawn to her. As if the Force presence she was hiding from him was actually reaching out to him. Calling him. And he couldn't help but move closer.

 

Kylo stepped forward. Rey took a step back.

 

“Stop right there. Don't come any closer,” she warned him. Her hand automatically touching her belly.

 

It was a strange gesture, almost like she did it on instinct. That gave him something to concentrate on. He tried to feel the Force and it was coming from inside her.

 

For a moment, Kylo felt his heart stop and his breath catch. He looked down at her belly that she was covering so proactively. The Force presence was inside her.

 

She was with child!

 

The realization hit him like a brick wall. Rey looked almost desperate now. She was trying to pull away, but Kylo held still.

 

For a second he felt red hot anger. Whose was It? Who dared to take that away from him. Take her before him. She was his other half. She belonged to him. Only him.

 

Then suddenly he felt another tug. Almost a playful one coming from within her. It was familiarity that was emitting from the small being. It's like it was trying to tell him something. Trying communicate. He pushed his anger aside and concentrated on pull. Tried to feel the being.

 

He only felt kinship and longing from it. It was reaching out to him, almost like it wanted him closer. Calling him towards it.

 

He looked up. His anger dissipated. He met her eyes. They were brimming with tears. And her lips pressed together were trembling. The realization hit him and she knew it too.

 

Force! But… “How?” Kylo croaked out. Half choking, his throat way closing up. His whole body was shaking. The connecting frizzled for a second. They were both feeling so emotional.

 

“I don't know how? It just happened,” she told him, tears spilling down her cheek.

 

Kylo stepped forward again. This time she didn't step back. He reached out and touched her cheek. He could feel her warmth and wetness against his skin. He wiped her tears and looked into her eyes. She looked scared, she felt alone. She didn't know what to do.

 

“You are not alone,” He told her.

 

“Ben?” Rey whispered. He could feel the connection breaking and her visage slowly disappeared before his eyes.

 

“...Come home.”

 

* * *

 


	2. You will never be alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Stop!” Rey protested. 
> 
> “You can leave if you don't want to be here. I'm not going to stop my activity to accommodate your sensibility,” Kylo grunted over his shoulders, but couldn't deny the fact that he was relieved she hadn't left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was initially the first chapter of the fic. We are going to treat the first chapter as an unofficial prologue of sort. So this is where the story begins, right after events of TLJ ends.
> 
> Thanks for your amazing response on the first chapter.
> 
> This scene was prompted by @anoonzee on Tumblr.

 

* * *

 

Kylo Ren walked out of his ship. His command crew followed at a safe distance. He could feel their fear, their trepidation. They think he was unstable. Maybe they were right-- he _was_ unstable. Kylo never remembered a time he didn't feel unstable. Well, earlier tonight. For the briefest moment he felt balanced, in control. He didn't feel like he was being torn apart. And he could do anything. It was when she was-

 

He shut the thought down immediately. She left. She left him. She rejected his offer, she rejected him. There was no point in thinking about her now. He'd crush her.

 

The First Order had suffered heavy losses. So soon after the destruction of Starkiller Base, the loss of Supremacy would be a heavy blow on their resources. Kylo was the Supreme Leader now and this was the Order he inherited. He planned to rebuild it in his own image. And bring peace and order to the galaxy.

 

Ascendancy was the destroyer he decided to board to declare his Leadership. He'd be leading the war to snuff out the remaining rebels from this ship. And tomorrow he'd appear in front of the whole Order and tell them to pledge their loyalty to him.

 

Kylo already had plans that he intended to put in action as soon as possible.

 

At this very moment, the commanders of all First Order battleships were on their way to Ascendancy to witness his ascension to power.

 

As he walked down the corridor with the last remaining command crew of the Supremacy, he could feel the force in them, blunt but still there.

 

He felt Luke leave. Kylo knew his uncle was dead. He felt it in the force. Unlike Snoke. When Snoke died Kylo felt nothing. Nothing from him, nothing in the force. He didn't feel his power increase, rather felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulder.

 

Well Snoke was just a means to an end. He would have thrown Kylo out the moment he survived or surpassed him.

 

Kylo felt tired to his bone. He walked up to elevator leading him to the officers quarters. Of course, his would be separate from the others. Before stepping in, he stopped and commanded over his shoulder.

 

“Rest up and make sure the other commanders reconvene with the Ascendancy. I will address them first thing tomorrow.”

 

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” the general affirmed.

 

He left them there and got into the elevator. A strange sense of longing and familiarity hit the moment he stepped inside. The elevators in all First Order facilities looked the same. And he couldn't help but remember the last time he was in one of these, she was with him.

 

He was so confident she would stand with him. He had seen it. But alas! She left him. Battered and broken.

 

Kylo stepped out and walked towards his chambers. There were a few troopers standing guard on either side of the entrance. He ignored them and went inside his new rooms.

 

They looked much the same-- just bigger maybe and the viewport faced the nearby nebula. It was a gorgeous view, if only Kylo was in the mood to observe it.

 

Kylo decided to take a shower and started stripping. The sweat and blood made the fabric cling to his body, not to mention the aches and bruises that littered his already scarred skin.

 

He roughly pulled at the fastening of his belt, tugging it loose and dropping it on the granite floor. He started walking towards the fresher. A hot shower sounded good after the day he had.

 

Unbuttoning the overcoat, he started to peel it off his body. He then unclasped the belt across his chest holding his arm guards.

 

He turned on the shower in the fresher. The room soon started to fog. He unlaced his high waisted combat pants while kicking his boots off.

 

He was so consumed in his mundane activity he didn't notice the subtle change in force around him. Suddenly he felt a shiver run down his spine. The same familiar feeling of not being alone hit once again with full force. He almost staggered on his feet but was determined to not react. He tried to calm his nerves.

 

Kylo did not expect the bond to be active. He thought it was her final decision to shut it down when she slammed the door of his family’s ship on his face, but it seemed the force had other ideas.

 

He proceeded to undress, trying to act nonchalant about the whole situation.

 

“Why did it pull me here?” she asked. And from her tone he could tell she was uncomfortable.

 

“You know very well the bond has a mind of its own. I have as much to do with it as you do,” he said without turning around. He started pulling his pants down.

 

“What are you doing?” Rey asked in a panicked voice.

 

“What doesn't it look like I'm doing Rey? I'm taking a shower. Or is the concept unfamiliar to you?” he added intentionally to anger her. _Maybe then she will leave and let me be._

 

She was quiet. Kylo wondered if she'd left. His insides mourned at the loss. He started pulling his boxer briefs down as well.

 

“Stop!” Rey protested.

 

“You can leave if you don't want to be here. I'm not going to stop my activity to accommodate your delicate sensibility,” Kylo grunted over his shoulders, but couldn't deny the fact that he was relieved she hadn't left.

 

“I can't! I don't know how to shut it off.” He heard her say.

 

“Well that's something we both have in common it seems,” Kylo said, before pulling the last article of clothing off his body and stepping into the fog drifting from the shower stall.

 

He started to slowly rub his skin off the blood and grime that had gathered on it. Pouring some soap in his hand he started lathering the product all over his body.

 

He could feel her agitation in the force. But also her curiosity. He quickly washed his hair and felt the water and soap cascading down his back. Just being in her presence while he was fully naked was exciting him and he couldn't deny it.

 

He felt like taking himself in hand and pleasuring himself, but he refrained. Shutting the water off, he turned around to find her standing right before him.

 

Her face was flushed red and her hands were in fists on either side of her body. She looked just the same. Maybe a few more bruises on her face than the last time he saw her.

 

He noticed her trying hard to keep her eyes trained to his. Not letting them drift down.

 

“Can you please cover up?” she asked once again.

 

“Why? What's the point of fake modesty?” he said, taking a step towards her.

 

Her eyes drifted down this time around. Down his chest, his torso, lingered a second longer on his crotch. He felt blood rushing to his cock, just under her observation.

 

“We know each other's thoughts,” he pressed on, “I know your darkest secret and your deepest desires, Rey,” he said, caressing her cheek with the back of his wet hand.

 

Kylo felt her warmth against his skin and once again was fascinated by this strange phenomenon they were experiencing. He wanted to touch her, hold her, keep her by his side.

 

“Rey. It doesn't have to be like this. You don't have to be alone anymore. We can be together. We'd never be alone.”

 

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. He felt her centering herself much like the time in the forest. She opened them to meet his.

 

“I can't stand with you and go the way you are going.” she told him, a little harshly. Her resolve snapped back. “And you-” her voice broke, “You will never leave your path and come to me.”

 

Rey stepped away from Kylo and turned around, her back facing him.

 

“So what now? You run to them? Your precious resistance? You'd never find your belonging there, Rey. It is with me!” Kylo shouted back. His temper reaching a boiling point, “Why do you have to be so difficult? Why can't you see?”

 

“I see everything, Ben. I would always be alone in a crowd,” she whispered, her visage slowly disappearing. “But so will you.”

 

Kylo was mad. He called his lightsaber to his and started slashing at everything around him, losing his mind for a moment. He destroyed everything and after a while saw the light flickering and the very ground shaking. The emergency red light was on.

 

Then as quickly as it came, the rage suddenly started to leave him. Slowly but surely, as if an outside source was trying to siphon it away from him. And Kylo let it. Kneeling on the floor, he hung his head in shame and disappointment.

* * *

****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The gif is to help you visualize better ;-)
> 
> Shout out to my beta Nori. And Robyn for her constant support.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts in the comments.


	3. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One particular General was showing diagrams  of the first order territory. That's when it happened.
> 
> All sound stopped and Kylo turned to find Rey in the corner.
> 
> She was crouching down and doing something with a wrench. Probably fixing something, her eyes were scrunched up and her had her pink tongue was sticking from the corner of her mouth as she concentrated. Kylo almost laughed at the scenario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt 1: Can you write Poe and Rey interacting and Kylo becoming jealous realizing that he is truly lonely and Rey is everything that hes wanted. Reys tells him she cant get over him and theres dramatic love confessions?? Pretty please! - by reading-inthe-dark
> 
> Prompt 2: A  Reylo prompt. Rey gets asked out on a date by a random Rebellion dude and Kylo ruins the date through the force Bond... Maybe Kylo promises to take her out.. one day!  Thanks - by Anon
> 
> I usually don't like to write jealousy and them dating other people. So I tried to take my on spin on those prompts. 
> 
> Sorry for anyone named Greg reading this :D

 

* * *

 

 

The board meeting with the admirals and generals from the First Order flagships was held early next morning. There was an elaborate goal to occupy most of the Mid-rim region. And they were presenting their plans, submitting their results so far.

 

They all looked nervous. The energy in the room was so tense it was giving Kylo a headache to be in there.

 

He gritted his teeth and moments like this he missed his mask. His annoyance was clear on his face and that was making his officers ever more anxious.

 

But he couldn't help it. He wouldn't coddle them. They have been pretty incompetent so far. And he couldn't have that in his regime.

 

His knights were standing against the wall behind him.

 

They were always so eerie quiet and disciplined that it was a little unnerving for people who weren't used to having them around. They were also very intimidating even without their weapons.

 

Kylo was used to them. And they'd pledged their loyalty to him and accepted him as their master. They were never loyal to Snoke and were unfazed by his master's death.They could hide their force presence quite effectively. Even from him. But he could still feel their approval at his ascension.

 

He trusted his knights. They have been together for a very long time. And even though these men were from his uncle's temple and they pretty much grew up together. They have never been friends but they were always allies. They were troubled just like him and never quite fitted in Luke's order.

 

The comradery started in the temple. They silently agreed with each other. And his was such a malevolent presence. It must have been a little difficult for the calm and collected knights at first but later Ren truly earn their trust and allegiance.

 

One particular General was showing diagrams  of the first order territory. That's when it happened.

 

All sound stopped and Kylo turned to find Rey in the corner.

 

She was crouching down and doing something with a wrench. Probably fixing something, her eyes were scrunched up and her had her pink tongue was sticking from the corner of her mouth as she concentrated. Kylo almost laughed at the scenario.

 

But then he realized she was talking with someone. It was related to the repair she was doing. Kylo tried to concentrate more. The connection seemed to be growing fast. The more they connect the more it seemed to expand.

 

He could slowly see more of the things she could see and feel. Her hands were greasy and he could feel that against his too and he could smell a faint odor of engine fuel.

 

“If you keep your engine clean and change oil, in the fight she might serve you better. You'd have to take care of her,” she patted the fighter Kylo could only assume as she added, “because she takes care of you out there.” She points over her shoulder.

 

“Yes boss!” the man said and kylo could hear him clearly. That was new. Lately he'd been able to decipher her surroundings more.

 

Rey went back to her work. She wiped her face with the back of her hand. And Kylo noticed that she managed to get grease on her cheek.

 

He had the strongest urge to reach out and wipe the mark off.

 

“Oh Rey. You have something on your face,” the man said again and Kylo for a second forgot he was even there.

 

“Huh?” Rey asked a little startled as if she had forgotten he was there as well.

 

“Here let me,” the guy tried to reach her with his hand and Rey moved away, dodging his attempt.

 

Kylo almost stood up from his seat ready to rip off the man's hand from his socket.

 

“It's fine. Thanks,” Rey said, clearly getting uncomfortable. Kylo could feel it through the bond.

 

The man laughed as Rey tried to rub the grease off.

 

“I wanted to ask you something Rey, if you don't mind.”

 

“Not at all,” Rey said getting back to her work

 

The man crouched down beside her.

 

“I was wondering if you'd like to grab a drink with me sometime,” he asked.

 

Kylo felt his stomach turn. He clenched his fist.  The gloves were creaking.

 

“Yeah I will meet Finn and Poe after work at the cantina. You should come,” Rey said, eyes still on the panel she was fixing.

 

“Umm. That's not what I meant.” The man tried to clarify. Kylo knew what he meant and he felt like killing the guy. But Rey still looked confused.

 

“I'm asking you on a date Rey?” he gave a nervous chuckle.

 

“Oh,” Rey finally understood. She was quiet for a moment.

 

Kylo felt his heart beating out of his chest. The glasses on the table started vibrating. The force around him was erratic but he couldn't care less.

 

“You are a great guy, Greg,” Rey said, her head ducking down.

 

Kylo thought she was going to say no. Like she should.

 

“You don't have to answer now. Just think about it,” Greg told her.

 

Rey thought about it for a moment.

 

“Okay. I will think about it,” she finally said.

 

Kylo felt an alarm going off inside his head. Someone was calling him from the meeting he was in, but all his focus was on the projection force was showing him.

 

“Yeah that's all I ask,” Greg said, grinning broadly, as he reached for her hand, almost touching her.

 

Then he stopped. His hand shot up grasping at his throat. Greg double over and then fell on his knees clutching his throat. He was choking.

 

Kylo didn't even realize he was doing until Rey turned around and looked straight at him.

 

“Stop it!” she screamed. “Stop it now!”

 

Kylo felt his hand relaxing but he wasn't done. With a flick of his wrist he sent the man flying into the wall behind him.

 

“Supreme Leader?” Kylo heard someone calling him urgently. His seat was shaking now.

 

“Leave! Now!” he growled under his breath. And heard everyone getting up on their feet at once making for the exit.

 

Rey got up to her feet. She was glaring at him with watery eyes. They were full of disgust. But Kylo didn't feel even a hint of guilt. _The man deserved it._

 

“He did not!” Rey spatted out. “ _How dare you!_ ”

 

He opened his mouth again and only venom poured out if him, “You rejected me and left me for dead. And now you are getting involved with someone else? I won't let you!”

 

“Yeah, what are you going to do?”

 

“I would destroy him and every single one of them!” Kylo stepped forward. He didn't even remember when he got up.

 

“I wasn't going to take his offer you, nerfherder!”

 

“Yeah you shouldn't!” Kylo gritted out.

 

“I WILL NOW!” Rey bellowed. “Who are you to tell me what to do!”

 

“I'm your-” he stopped himself. Who was he?

 

“You are nothing to me. I hate You!” Rey said, tears streaming down her face.

 

Kylo was about to say something, reach for her. When someone started to shake Rey.

 

“Rey are you okay?” The infuriating voice of Poe Dameron asked her.

 

Rey turned around hugged him and started crying.

 

Kylo felt like someone kicked him in the gut with an incredible force. He wanted to be sick.

 

“Hey, what happened?” Poe was asking her as he patted her back.

 

She was being comforted by Dameron and Kylo wanted to destroy something.

 

Rey turned around to look at him once more, with disgust in her eyes. “Go ahead. That's what you are good at. Destroying.” He could feel the hurt emitting from the bond. He stepped forward to touch her hold her. Apologize to her.

 

But she turned around from him. Ending the connection, leaving him alone once again.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked the chapter. 
> 
> As always please let me know your thoughts in the comments section below. 
> 
> If you have any prompted please send me a msg or leave a Tumblr ask :')


	4. Inebriated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kriff him, Rey thought as she pulled out the power source out of Anakin Skywalker’s old design.
> 
> “Yeah you too.” She heard Kylo Ren’s deep voice from behind her.
> 
> Rey jumped picking up her blaster and looked back.
> 
> He was standing in the middle of her room, wearing nothing but his pants, which were half undone. One of his boots was missing as well as if he was in the process of taking his boots off.
> 
> His eyes looked bloodshot and watery. His cheeks were flushed and he looked equally as startled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter so soon?
> 
> Yea this one was based on a prompt too. But I lost it when I lost my old blog.
> 
> Sorry for the angst on the last chapter. This one makes up for it

 

* * *

 

Rey was in her room trying to fix her broken saber. All the components were laid out in front of her as she picked through the old saber that survive the test of time. But didn't withstand the tug of war between two desolate force sensitives.

 

 _Kriff him,_ Rey thought as she pulled out the power source out of Anakin Skywalker’s old design.

 

“Yeah you too.” She heard Kylo Ren’s deep voice from behind her.

 

Rey jumped picking up her blaster and looked back.

 

He was standing in the middle of her room, wearing nothing but his pants, which were half undone. One of his boots was missing as well as if he was in the process of taking his boots off.

 

His eyes looked bloodshot and watery. His cheeks were flushed and he looked equally as startled.

 

“You know that won't work.” He pointed at her blaster.

 

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

 

Still mad about their last encounter, Rey remembered crying herself to sleep last night. She was trying to live with this impossible bond. She still didn't know how to feel about sharing her mind with him. He was conceited and thirsty for power. She believed in him. She wanted to help him. He chose his ambition over her. But Rey was still willing to live with this connection. Kylo Ren made it very difficult to forget it.

 

“I don't know Rey, you tell me? You were the one thinking about me,” Kylo said.

 

“I was not!” Rey countered in petulant tone.

 

“Keep telling yourself that, Rey,” Kylo added, his words were jumbled up. And Rey wondered what was wrong with him?

 

He was walking around, doing whatever he was doing before the force connected them. His movement wasn't steady. It wasn't his usual commanding gait.

 

“What's up with you?” Rey asked, as he dropped something on his foot and cursed loudly. He stumbled back to his seat.

 

“Are you drunk?” Rey probed.

 

“Yeah,” Kylo growled back.

 

“You never drink,” Rey said, narrowing her eyes. How did she know? She had been inside his head, their thoughts were connected. He was more or less a monk. The Jedi ways hadn't left him when he left the temple.

 

“Well I do now. I needed to forget. But star damned force won't leave me alone,” he rambled, almost as if to himself.

 

“What are you trying to forget, Ren?” Rey couldn't help but ask.

 

“Ren?” he repeated before giving a short, mirthless laugh. “What happened to Ben, Rey?”

 

He looked at her with accusation in his eyes.

 

Rey gritted her teeth, her own eyes welling up now.

 

“Ben is gone,” she spat out.

 

“Don't be so sure,” Kylo said, before the connection faded away.

 

* * *

 

Ren stumbled out of bed to get some water. He gulped down the entire bottle in one go, but still felt thirsty.

 

His head was pounding and he was feeling nauseous. Kylo only heard about the effects of a hangover, never experienced it before. He realized his decision to stay off alcohol was the right one.

 

“I'm never drinking again,” Kylo said to the empty room.

 

“Yeah good call,” Rey said.

 

Kylo turned around to find her lying on her side on _his_ bed. She had her eyes closed and hands tucked under her cheek.

 

“What Are you-” Kylo started, then realized it's pointless to ask that question. “Nevermind.” he added shaking his head.

 

He walked up to his bed and sat down, with his back to her.

 

It was weird to have someone in his bed. She wasn't really in his bed, but it felt way too real. It's almost like he could feel her aura and Kylo was sure if he moved a little closer he'd be able to feel her warmth. Just the thought was tantalizing to him. But he wouldn't admit it, even to himself.

 

“Well I have an headache thanks to you,” she grumbled into her hand, as he heard her yawn.

 

Kylo turned around catch the end of that tiny yawn. It was too adorable. _What was the matter with him?_

 

“How?” he asked.

 

She raised her head to look at him. “You have a headache,” she said matter of factly.

 

That made him turn around and look at her fully. “You can feel my headache?”

 

Yes,”

 

“You are suggesting we can feel each other's pain?” Kylo pressed on.

 

Rey reached out and lightly touched his right arm. Her finger pressing on a bruised part he didn't even know was there.

 

It stinged, but Kylo was distracted by the warmth of her touch.

 

Rey pulled away and pushed her tunic around her right shoulder, exposing the cut from the battle in throne room. It was half healed.

 

Kylo could clearly feel a phantom pain at the same spot. That was fascinating.

 

Rey pulled the tunic back up covering her golden skin.

 

She laided back down and shut her eyes once again.

 

He never thought she would open up the bond and come to him. But here she was. If the headache wasn't splitting his head in half, he would have thought more about it.

 

“Lie down. It makes it much better,” Rey suggested.

 

Kylo didn't know how to react to her sudden tenderness. _Was he dreaming?_

 

“You are not. I'm just tired and I don't feel like arguing,” she answered his unasked question.

 

Kylo sighed and decided to lie down. He was on his back looking up at his ceiling.

 

“You are getting better at this,” he observed.

 

“At What?”

 

“Reading my thoughts.”

 

Rey opened one of her eyes and looked at him. “I thought I was good at it from the first moment,” she smirked.

 

Kylo smiled too.

 

“I've never seen that,” she said, getting on her elbow. Now looking down at him. He couldn't help but stare back.

 

“Wh-what?” he swallowed hard. She was so close and the way her eyes were glowing made Kylo want to pull her to his chest.

 

“Your smile,” she said, touching the corner of his lips.

 

Kylo realize he wasn't even breathing. She slowly lowered herself down to the bed again but this time she was way too close to him. Rey rested her head on his pillow. Kylo couldn't help but turn his face towards her.

 

They looked into each other's eyes. Her depthless hazel eyes would be his undoing. They were so open and honest both in her rage and her sadness.

 

Kylo realized in that moment he couldn't live without seeing those eyes. He was so desperate he'd rather have her look at him in hatred than have her turn away from him.

 

“It doesn't have to be like that, Ben,” she murmured before closing her eyes again.

 

Kylo mourned at the loss. He turned to his side on the pillow, now facing her.

 

“How?” He knew he sounded desperate but in that moment he couldn't even care.

 

“You need to find your own way home, Ben.” She sighed again.

 

Kylo couldn't help but reach out and stroke her soft warm cheek with the back of his hand.

 

He feared rejection. She could rip his hand off if she wanted to. But she did no such thing.

 

Rey leaned into his touch and sighed in contentment. Kylo’s heart soared.

 

She grabbed his wrist, pulling it down and tucking it under her cheek on the pillow.

 

Kylo could feel her heat seeping into his skin, to his bones, spreading in across his body.

 

“Oh Ben,” she whispered nuzzling his hand, and Kylo thought he could stay like that forever.

 

“Why do you have to make this so difficult?” she added almost like an afterthought before falling asleep.

 

And Kylo was left with the same question haunting him.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey fights but the bond is inevitable and unchangeable. So she gives in once in a while. And that helps the bond grow stronger.
> 
> Prompts are open send me one. For this fic or any other fic. 
> 
> And please let me know your thoughts in the comments section. Because they help a lot.


	5. The Vision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write him as a good leader, unlike the fanon where people think he is impulsive, selfish, and power hungry, and only does good things to impress Rey.

* * *

 

 

Kylo woke up the next day to an empty bed and a heavy heart. He didn't dare to open his eyes to reconfirm the feeling that he knew as soon as he woke up. She was gone.

 

Well she was never really physically there. She was always light years way. Except for that one time he was in her proximity. And she came to him willingly.

 

Kylo fisted the dark silk sheet of his bed in his hand. She was supposed to be there. But she never was. It was a trick by force.

 

He slowly pried his eyes open and looked straight. The viewport parallel to his bed showed the breathtaking view of the nearby nebulae. Red and blue hues blurred into purple in the middle. Thousands of stars surrounding it, twinkling brightly on their own.

 

A sight that in any other occasions made his day a little less trying, didn't do much for him today. He pushed up to a sitting position, turning away from the beauty the galaxy had offer.

 

Resting his elbows on his knees, Kylo rubbed his eyes.

 

He heard the door sliding open and a heavy thudding noise approaching him. Kylo tried to ignore it. But the thud walked beside him and laid a tray he was carrying down beside Kylo.

 

“Here is your breakfast, Master Ren.” T2LC said in his mechanical voice. “In today's menu we have-" he removed the cover off the tray, “- Fried nerf bacon, four fried golden pheasant eggs, and whole grain toast.”

 

He finishes with a slight bow. His servo motor making screeching sound as always. The noise had irritated his father to no end.

 

Kylo shook his head. _Where did that thought come from?_ He never considered himself to be sentimental. But he did keep the droid that raised him as a kid.

 

When Ben Solo was sent to Luke's Academy T2LC, or what he was known as Elsie was sent with him. The droid helped out in the academy along side R2. But the night he destroyed the academy Kylo didn't forget to take LC along.

 

Since then wherever Kylo was based, LC accompanied him, taking care of his everyday chores. He could have gotten a better, more efficient First Order droid but Kylo never felt like he could trust any.

 

He had been fixing and rebuilding Elsie all his life. And if he was honest, he did care for the old droid. He was the only constant in Ben Solo's life. And Kylo couldn't let that part of his past die.

 

Elsie left the breakfast and went about the room, cleaning up the mess he made last night. Good thing about this droid was, he was used to Kylo's temper and cleaning after him. Unlike that wretched 3PO, that constantly badgered him with questions.

 

Kylo looked at the old droid as it started picking broken pieces of panels and dusting the shards of glass littered on the floor.

 

He sighed and started picking on the food that was served to him.

 

There was a beep alerting Kylo to an incoming call on his personal comm.

 

“It's General Hux on the line for you, Master.” Elsie chimed.

 

“Put him through,” Kylo said pulling a tunic on.

 

“Supreme Leader. Another system has agreed to join our cause. And we need to take action soon. What is your order?” the pasty blue face of the General appeared in front of Kylo.

 

“I want to visit the system in person to address them. Send me the reports on their economical and environmental factors on my comm,” Kylo told him, and ignoring the confused look on Hux's face he disconnected the line with a wave of his hand.

 

Kylo got up on his feet walking towards the refresher.

 

“Master Be-Ren, breakfast?” Elsie interpreted.

 

“I'm not hungry, Elsie,” Kylo sighed. And started walking again.

 

“But it's the most important meal of the day!” Kylo rolled his eyes. The droid still acted like his nanny.

 

“Okay, I will have it after I shower,” Kylo said over his shoulder just to pacify the droid.

 

“And I shall get your Armor ready,” Elsie replied happily.

 

* * *

 

 

Kylo was walking towards his office followed by his two death trooper guards. Soon two of his knights joined him, flanking their master's sides.

 

“Reports,” Kylo commanded.

 

“The interrogation of the top admirals and general attending your conferences yesterday went well.”

 

“Master, Cleo Ren needs to learn the definition of well.” his youngest knight interrupted.

 

“Sven,” Kylo cautioned under his breath.

 

Cleo took that as a go ahead and resumed her reporting. “They are- skeptical about your ascendancy, Master, but most are taking it in stride. Some were not happy with the way Snoke ran things. And few were loyal to the previous empire, and followed your grandfather. To them this reign is more desirable.”

 

“But then there are the General's buddies,” Sven interjected impatiently.

 

“Hmmm keep digging. I want them identified.” _And executed,_ he thought but didn't add. But his knights already knew their orders. Hux was planning a coup. And Kylo needed to be prepared for it.

 

“We know what he is thinking, master. Why not just execute him for treason?” Sven asked, exasperated.

 

“Because, that will cause civil unrest among the Order. We'd have to find solid evidence and catch him in the act,” Cleo added, in her calm, disciplined tone.

 

“Precisely,” Kylo agreed, as they reached the conference room. He gave a curt nod to his knights, as they took their positions inside on either side of the door.

 

He sat down and let the General in charge of the negotiation start informing him about the territory. He would be taking a shuttle later today to personally address their new ally.

 

* * *

 

“Together we are going to bring a new order to this territory. We would like to thank you for giving us the opportunity to work towards a better future for all of our inhabitants. And we appreciate your willingness to participate in our vision, to work towards a galaxy without war and destruction,” Kylo finished his speech to a resounding applause from the audience.

 

This territory had been ravaged by the war under the rule of the Empire. And it didn’t get better during the 30 years of The New Republic. So when The First Order extended a helping hand, the inhabitants finally decided it was enough. And that was their first step at rebuilding their worlds. Kylo’s New Order was more than willing to open their arms for these people.

 

The new Supreme Leader wanted peace and a reprieve from the constant war that he was born into. The First Order will provide the systems under them with help and resources, expertise with trade and reestablish the broken system.

 

This was a completely new direction he was taking the Order to and Kylo was aware of the danger he was facing. Hux and his followers were not happy about it. But he was the Supreme Leader and they were bound by oath to serve him, unless they want to be the marked as traitors and publicly executed.

 

The good thing about his ascension was he had support from the Admiral and the leaders from the Imperial era. Most First Order beneficiaries were systems that thrived under the Imperial rule. And they were still loyal to the emperor and his second, Lord Vader.

 

These people didn’t know that his grandfather ended up betraying his Master. One truth his family hid very well. And Kylo was taking full advantage of it.

 

He meant it when he asked Rey to join his cause. Kylo wasn’t going to make the mistakes that The Republic, The Empire, or The New Republic made. He was a scholar, he believed in learning from his mistakes. And he had hoped she would stand with him as he worked to realize it.

 

 

Alas, she couldn’t see beyond his stubbornness; she didn’t give him the chance to make her understand. Like everyone else she only saw the ruthlessness, not the reasoning behind it. Heard his word but not his motivation. Like everyone else in his life, Rey wanted Ben Solo and what he could have been, not Kylo Ren who he had inevitably become.

 

* * *

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share your ideas and prompts, and tell me what you want to see Kylo and Rey to do in this AU. I wanted to make it a canon compliant. if it goes with the story line I would love to include it.
> 
> The T2LC part was included because @kattylovesreylo wanted Kylo to be kind to someone other than Rey. A droid or an animal. So his own childhood nanny was added. Those who aren't familiar, Elsie is a canon character from the Aftermath Book Series.
> 
> Cleo was inspired by Danai Gurira. I'm in love with her.

**Author's Note:**

> @Robyn ♡♡
> 
> @my readers thank you for reading. If you like it and want me to continue people leave a comment. :')
> 
> Happy holidays and may the force be with you and your family.
> 
> My tumblr: [@Shwtlee2Reylo](https://shwtlee2reylo.tumblr.com).


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